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Angst Boy

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[31 Dec 2004|08:21pm]
Mm. I had a nice time with Becca today. I went out to the Dub C, we went out for pizza and ice cream, it was all nice. She wouldn't kiss me though, lameness. But whatev. I'm going to see the Fleshies tonight, maybe it'll be tight. I have my rum and coke all ready to go, so soon.
5 bullets| shoot me in the face

[31 Dec 2004|12:32pm]
It would appear that my fucking water heater is broken again. Goddamnit. And the voicemail box for Roeber's is full.
shoot me in the face

[30 Dec 2004|11:12pm]
My, my what a mess we've made
Of our pretty little heads these days.
It appears a heavy wind's blown through here recently.

Best wishes have been made for you.
You never had no say it's true.
You have to be the cutest gravedigger I've ever seen.

And all your lonely nights
In the city of lights are much like
All these crowded bars I so often find my stupid self-stumbling through.

My, my what a mess was made of my head
When I heard what you'd been through that day.
It appears a violent storm's passed through you recently.

Letters meant to be sent have been torn.
The phone lies off the hook, on the floor.
All these "I'm sorry"s and "I miss you"s are useless.
I fucked this one up long ago.

And all your lonely nights
In the city of lights are much like
All these crowded bars I so often find my stupid self-stumbling through.

Fuck you Aurora, you took my only friend.

And although it's all my fault,
The blaming myself had to come to an end. So I say:
Fuck you Aurora, you took my only friend.
You won't catch me behind the wheel
Of a Chrysler ever again.

My, my what a mess we've made
Of our precious little lives these days.
It appears a big fucking tornado has twisted us up recently.

Best wishes have been made for you.
You never had no say it's true.
You have to be the cutest gravedigger I've ever seen.
And all your lonely nights in the city of lights are much like
All these crowded bars I so often find my stupid self-stumbling through.

Fuck you Aurora, you took my only friend.
And although it's all my fault,
The blaming myself had to come to an end. So I say:
Fuck you Aurora, you took my only friend.
You won't catch me behind the wheel
Of a Chrysler ever again.
2 bullets| shoot me in the face

[30 Dec 2004|09:34pm]
Fart jokes may be the lowest form of comedy, but that does not mean they aren't funny.

Apparently the Blottos are not Minor Threat. (This song is 14 minutes long, and the whole thing goes like, "we're not minor threat, we're not minor threat, we're not even straight edge, we're not minor threat, we drink beer and smoke cigarettes, and that's cos we're not minor threat." That's 14 words by my count.) If you listen carefully, you can hear Didi say at the end, "oh my god, you guys, your next show is gonna be so rad, you know exactly how to play everything now". She sounds hella different than she does now, though.

I think tomorrow I should try and write another version of "Happy Birthday Ralph" for Whatsername. It's her birthday, and I love her and wish her a happy birthday, even though she is fuckin' disgusting.
shoot me in the face

the other stuff [30 Dec 2004|09:09pm]
[ mood | quixotic ]

Megan may or may not be coming to the Fleshies show tomorrow night. One of her friends got excited and wanted to go, but.... that's the one she's been pursuing. The one she's eventually going to ditch me for. She told me this and added, "and this is where the hatred and resentment start to build. you say it's okay, but I know you're plotting your revenge". And I'm like, "naw. Annoyance maybe, but not hatred. the only revenge i have any interest in is moving on to greener pastures." Meaning, moving on to someone hotter. Unfortunately, I think I like Megan more than anyone I've 'been with' before, so topping her is going to be pretty hard. It's not easy for a mutant like myself to find a cute little sparkplug with cropped blonde hair and C cups, who's into Jawbreaker and Slayer and fried chicken and John Cusack and raunchy jokes and fucking with the lights on and getting stoned and watching Office Space and cuddling until 2 in the afternoon and eating pizza on the sidewalk and drinking rum and sloppily kissing in front of people and all that shit. Not to mention actually getting her to have me.

Still, I think me and Megan are going to be good friends after all. Plus, she's slept with me enough that she can personally vouch for me in hooking me up with other dames she knows. (She has suggested that we should go to Gilman and let her let the girlies know what's up with me. I think she overestimates how slutty other girls are, though.) Robin's a nice looking girl, if pretty square, but I don't think we're looking for the same things. Far from it in fact; I want a hipster girlfriend, I get the impression she wants a monied, good looking square guy to buy her shit, fuck her silly, and get lost.

It's raining a lot, again. I think I like it. I know I like it, I like it a lot, because, because it pisses you off.

PS Alex is a sappy, sappy cunt who exists solely to make me want to kick her in the face.

1 bullet| shoot me in the face

celebrity gossip [30 Dec 2004|08:48pm]
[ mood | speculative ]

Angelina Jolie is well known for liking kids, going out of her way for the poor children of the world. But, what if Angelina Jolie likes kids, in the same way Michael Jackson does? That's a hilarious notion, being that she's also famous for being outlandishly hot. Eventually some kid would start making a stink and accusing her of molesting them, and everyone would offer to call them a wahmbulance. Plenty of us wish we'd get molested by that woman. She is kind of loopy though....

3 bullets| shoot me in the face

[30 Dec 2004|01:12pm]
[ mood | playful ]

My neighbour is bumping some hip hop, it's making my floor vibrate. I have the urge to play Jawbreaker songs really loud. (I only know how to play like 2 or 3 anyway, I usually only play Jinx Removing and Chesterfield Kings.) Fuck it! This is as good an excuse as they come.

Sometimes I have to put on my boots and stomp out my feelings, because they'll only lead me astray.

shoot me in the face

[30 Dec 2004|02:28am]
[ mood | tired ]

I'm listening to the CD damptonwormWhatshername sent. It's really pretty bad ass. Mazel tof.

I really should go to bed. But I don't wanna.

3 bullets| shoot me in the face

[29 Dec 2004|11:41pm]
It's been raining a lot today. And I just beat my computer at World Empire V. It won the first couple times, but this time I slowly ground it out.

It's getting clearer, the end is closer..... I'm weirdly sleepy.
4 bullets| shoot me in the face

[29 Dec 2004|06:53pm]
[ mood | intrigued ]

Just as I thought, my mom's parents gave me a nice modern English edition of the Bible for Christmas. I am tempted to send them a card, tongue planted deeply in cheek, thanking them for helping me find Jesus. The irony is that I am down with Jesus, but in a very different, more liberal fashion. I just found the verse, Leviticus 18:22, which provides the basis for right-wing Christian homophobia. It's not quite as interesting in modern English: "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination." I lack the attention span to decipher the King James edition, but half the fun of Biblical references is using archaic English, words like "thee and thine" "unto" "beget" and the like. But my goal now is to try and read the whole Bible. People are going to raise eyebrows when they see me reading it, but I think it sounds pretty brainy to say "No, it's not that I'm a Jesus freak, I'm agnostic. I just find it interesting. Besides, the more you know about the Bible, the easier it is to debunk. Y'know, there's a lot of freaky shit in the Bible that would get it banned from schools in 5 seconds flat, if it wasn't in the Holy Bible. Lots of genocide, murder, incest, et cetera."

Bitching about religion is totally high school anyway. It's relevant then, but when you're an adult, it no longer matters because no one can make you pretend to believe anything.

I just started reading from the beginning and I already have questions. Genesis 4:17; where the hell did Cain's wife come from? Adam and Eve were the first and only humans in the world, right? And they had two sons, Cain and Abel. Cain murdered Abel. So that leaves only Eve, his mother, the only human in the world. What the hell?

2 bullets| shoot me in the face

[29 Dec 2004|04:45pm]
Man. Things are pretty rad right now. Megan came over last night and we got hella drunk, but I don't have a hangover today. She just left for work, and now it turns out that I'm in luck; the accordion store is open, so my dad is coming up to Oakland, bringing me that big sector of cake, and we're going out to lunch. If it's up to me, we're going to Rudy's, cos Rudy's is the fucking bomb in a basket.

I find it very amusing how I started sleeping with Megan at about the same time I started taking care of Finky.

OH MY GOD. Okay. My dad took me out to lunch at Rudy's (and in addition to bringing me the last of the cake, he brought christmas presents from my mom's family). It was fucking bomb. Like some kind of freaky sex party in my mouth, and everyone came. But the OH MY GOD part is the fact that Mike fucking Dirnt strolled in while I was attacking my burger. I had to take a couple minutes to like, collect myself. But I stopped and got up and conversed with him for a couple minutes. I had to! Cos like I told him, if it wasn't for Green Day I might be a nu metal kid now. He was extremely cool of course, especially since I was probably extremely dorky. But being a dork is okay when you're talking to one third of one of the best bands ever. I need to call Didi and tell her. She called me earlier today and just went "what's up? slutty puppy" and hung up on me.

And I got a mix CD from damptonwormwhatever she thinks her name is in the mail. Yeah. I'm having a fucking great day, no sarcasm, I mean it.
4 bullets| shoot me in the face

[28 Dec 2004|05:56pm]
[ mood | drinking ]

I have been drinking and/or smoking weed all day today; I had rum and waffles for breakfast. Marina came over and we got really stoned and watched Baseketball. It was a lot funnier than I remembered, but probly cos I was high. We went out and ate pizza, hung out with Chloe and a few of her friends at Naan'n'Curry, and here I am, drinking a pint of rum and coke. One of Chloe's friends, Theresa, impressed the hell out of me. She was very cute (if thin) and blonde, but had a few zits and her nose was all raw because she had a cold. In a way it made her more attractive, made her seem more like a real person. And she was a geek. I was going to leave to "drink rum and play half life" and she thought that was rad, so I stayed and talked geeky with her a little. Sigh. Chloe has gotten way cuter since I've known her, too. But I bet now Theresa is going to talk shit and make fun of me with Chloe because I got all googly eyed over her being an RPG geek. Eh, whatever. She's proly 16 anyway. *roll eyes* Nevermind, fuck a buncha skirts.

Sigh.

shoot me in the face

[27 Dec 2004|08:39pm]
[ mood | kooky ]

Me and whoever created Aqua Teen Hunger Force should go into the appliance business, making a line of kitchen appliances endorsed by the main characters. Like the Frylock deep fryer, the Master Shake blender, and the Meatwad electric mini grill.

Also, HL2 is badass. I dunno if I'd say "best game ever made", but pretty fucking good.

shoot me in the face

[27 Dec 2004|05:36pm]
[ mood | nice ]

Today was pretty badass. I got that new drive to work last night, turned out I just needed to partition it with BootIt. I think I'm gonna have to migrate all my stuff, my Windows install and everything, to the new drive, format the old one, and sell it. Windows doesn't know the brand or model number, but whatever. Everything is tight. I ordered HL2 last night from bestbuy.com, and saved like 15 bucks. Then Megan showed up and yeah.

Once we got up today, we went out for a slice of pizza, went to Best Buy (I waited in a longass return line for like 15 minutes before realizing that maybe pickups are a separate line. I was right, so I got my shit and bounced. From there, the Ham house in Richmond, hung out with Didi and Sid for a couple hours. Came back here, and she went home to nap and watch Sex in the City. I came in, changed the oil in the fryer, ate salad and drank apple cider, moved CDs around (I got multi-CD cases yesterday, to organize all those burned CDs more efficiently), all while installing HL2. I thought it was packaged on a DVD, but it's actually 5 CDs. Man. I should put them in a case, I hate those paper CD envelopes. Except the one with the serial number, that's crucial. Still, the damn game costs 50-55 bucks retail and probably will keep that premium price tag for a relatively long time, they ought to package all those discs in a sturdier, classier fashion.

shoot me in the face

sup sluts [26 Dec 2004|04:34pm]
[ mood | vexed ]

I've been working on my computer all day. Installing that new hard drive is not easy. (The Seagate software thinks I need to open an IDE slot for the new drive. It's already connected, so I'm like "are you on angel dust?") I offloaded most of the contents of my old 20GB drive, literally formatted it, and got it out of the way. Now I have to get Windows to recognize the new drive. The system BIOS recognizes it, but I've had to reinstall Windows, now I have to reinstall all my drivers and shit. But when all the dust settles, I will have 280GB of beautiful hard drive space. (Maybe I should sell the other old drive, too, to finance HL2.... The both of them are probably worth about 50 bucks, and 200GB is still twice what I had before.)

I went out in search of Half Life 2 today, for a break. It was 55 bucks at Best Buy, and I was like "Naw. I'd be better off buying it on the Internet and just paying more for fast shipping." I did get more blank CDs and jewel cases though. Multi-CD cases are crucial for keeping sets together.

FUCK. I think I may have just accidentally overwritten my Firefox bookmarks. Sigh. Stuff always gets lost when you fuck around with your hard drive and Windows installation.

shoot me in the face

crucial points [26 Dec 2004|01:51am]
[ mood | tired ]

- I made it back intact, and Finky is not dead. I was a little worried cos he was sleeping in his little mitten, and he didn't move when I tapped the glass, but I took the screen off the tank, fed him, and gave him a poke. He's okay, thank god.

- I spent most of yesterday watching TV (my parents got a TiVo for Christmas, it's fuckin awesome) and wishing I hadn't forgotten my cell phone. I ate half a pizza, watched "Better Off Dead", played Age of Empires on my dad's computer (I was impressed with myself, I was kind of drunk and still managed to beat the computer on moderate difficulty), killed off that bottle of Maker's Mark and went to bed.

- This morning I woke up at like 9. Had a donut and watched "Catch Me If You Can" while waiting for Rebecca and Thomas to arrive. It was surprisingly good, but they showed up just before the end, so I didn't see the last 20 minutes or so until after the present opening.

- They arrived at like 11 and presents were opened. I didn't get Half Life 2, but I did get a new hard drive, 200 freaking gigabytes. That in itself is awesome, and I could probably sell my old drives and get enough cash for them to buy a copy. (Plus my grandmother gave me a large single bill, which I will be seriously tempted to break with that purchase tomorrow.) Plus some other cool shit, but the new drive is the highlight, I think.

- Thomas gave my sister a cheap electric guitar, good times were had passing that around for a while. She even asked me, "Wow, when did you stop sucking?" I'm a much better player than I was when we lived in the same house.

- My dad made Christmas dinner, it was aight. The cake was pretty good, my mom always makes good chocolate cake. I forgot to grab the section that I was to take home. *shrug* Meh.

- Played 3 games of Risk with Thomas. *hangs head* He fucking slaughtered me. I almost had him the third time, but I had a couple of really bad turns and that just blew it for me. It was really fun though, I hadn't played Risk in forever. The first two games were over in like an hour each, but the last one went on for like 2 1/2. Then it was almost midnight, so I got my stuff together and went home.

- Stopped for gas in Fremont. The attendant was puttering around taking care of business when I got there, so I had to wait like 10 minutes to get my gas. (Gas is back down to only 2 bucks a gallon, sweet.) Passed the time talking to a very nice, pretty Indian girl named Zenith, a journalism major at San Jose State.

- I missed Megan a little. I hope next Christmas I have a girlfriend I can take with me. Not in the sense of like, 'a girl you can bring home to mom', just someone with whom my relationship is intimate enough for that to be appropriate. (Or it would also be tight to housesit while they're on vacation this summer. I've wanted for a long time, to housesit my parent's house with my hypothetical fiancee, so while they're on vacation, we can have our own vacation in the suburbs. Hanging out in their house, looking after the cats, having friends over, drinking, smoking weed, y'know, small scale partying, and when we're home alone, fornicating all over the place. I've had sex at my parent's house once, ever, I have some catching up to do. But not like trashing the place, just enjoying having a nice decent sized suburban house to ourselves for a week. Cooking yummy food in the nice-ass kitchen, sharing a bowl and watching TiVo..... sigh. I'm such a sappy bastard. I always seem to relate to songs about heartbreak, when I doubt if I've ever been in love. I write those songs and they're about someone I've never met.)

- But it's a quarter to 2, I kinda have a headache (had a couple jack and cokes today), so I'm putting my happy ass in bed. I hope all you guys had a fucking awesome Christmakwanzakkah Commerce Day.

x's and 0's.

PS everyone dug the presents I got them. I rock.

shoot me in the face

[24 Dec 2004|01:49am]
[ mood | yar ]

I just wrote down what I got everyone, and what I think I spent. Fuck, my Christmas shopping this year came out to like 150 bucks. I think I actually spent the most money on Thomas, cos I bought him a fifth of JD which was like 17 bucks, and... I guess I can say cos Rebecca proly won't look at LJ till after Commerce Day, a bag of Scotty's Finest (it was originally a half eighth, I subtracted a fat nug for myself cos I was running low, but since Megan gave me that bigass bud, I have plenty of my own, so I put some back) to share. I should helluv bring my pipe and try to do a couple hits by the side of the house. Thomas claimed that he had enough drugs at his house to keep me high for like several months straight. I suspect he was maybe pulling my leg now, that I think about it. But I feel good about the gifts I got those who're special enough to me to give them gifts, I think they'll all like 'em. Didi seemed pretty stoked about the fifth of Fris (nice, surprisingly cheap imported vodka) and flatiron I got for her, Jenny liked the little jelly bracelet I ordered for her. I'm tempted to try and order something for Laura, but naw. I swing off her nuts way too hard as it is. She ain't giving me a damn thing, so fuck that. It's good enough that I admitted to Megan that even if I had a girlfriend, I'd probably dump said girlfriend to be with her. That's her fuckin Christmas present right there.

And now I will pass out. G'night everybody!

shoot me in the face

[24 Dec 2004|12:28am]
[ mood | pleasantly inebriated ]

This is weird. It's a little like knowing what day I'm going to die. I basically just figured out about how long the 'relationship' I'm in is going to last. I'm kind of bummed, but it's also nice to know ahead of time how it's gonna be. I hope I can still be friends with Megan, I like her. She's intelligent and I enjoy being around her whether or not I'm putting my penis in her. She's the only person I know who admits to having smoked crack. (You wouldn't think so if you met her, she's a cute white girl with glasses from Montclair, not skinny or cracked out or anything. She hasn't done it in months.) But the fact that there's no future in it, that I'm basically being used for sex, makes it seem kind of pointless. I like banging, but I want more. I want to be hopelessly in love; I don't want to be marrying anyone any time soon, but I want to be starting on down that road. I was wondering if Megan was starting to think of us as a couple, cos I have started to think of her as my girlfriend a bit. I guess not. But it's alright. I like her, but I'm not as sappy over her as I am over some dames I could name. I feel like less of an asshole, now, for wishing that she was hotter, that she had a body like Vanessa Whinnery. (To be bluntly honest, she's one of those girls who would be a LOT hotter if her tits were bigger and her waist a bit smaller. Other than that she's a slice.)

I think I want a donut, but I'm not sure. Me and Megan both had one of those chocolate iced creme filled krispy kremes this morning, they were actually pretty damn good. Swear to god, I'm going to have diabetes someday, I eat so much fucking sugar. I wonder if it has anything to do with my ADD, and the fact that I haven't taken my meds in a while. I've read about how kids with ADD and ADHD get basically addicted to sugar. But if I take my meds, I forget to eat altogether and have to consciously force myself to eat, which is a Bad Thing. When I'm on Adderall, I have virtually no interest in food, I'd much rather concentrate on more interesting things, like writing, video games, working on my computer, etc. I can eat, almost as much as normal, I just don't care enough to get off my ass, cook food to completion (at least once i've put a pot of pasta on the stove, then forgot about it, cooking it for half a friggin hour and ruining it), and get it into my stomach. Hence I have to force myself to cook and eat, cos otherwise I'll hardly eat anything all day, and then feel shitty the next day.

I'm thinking I should eat some salad, and if I still want a donut after that, I can have one. (I have a whole pound of salad, I should try and dispose of as much of it as possible before it goes all brown and yucky. I threw out the last of that loaf of french bread, it was getting not so much stale as just dried out.) Mm. Green salad rocks. I eat it right out of the bag, like potato chips. I don't eat it cos it tastes good, but it's a nice light contrast to the food I usually eat, with all that protein and fat and sugar and carbs. Carbs fucking rule.

shoot me in the face

[23 Dec 2004|11:41pm]
[ mood | still drinking ]

I hella like this song. I should be ashamed, but I do. It's a total 80's style pop song. We all know how Save Ferris are total dorks about 80's pop music and movies.

I also think Queens of the Stone Age should do a song, if not a whole record, about Josh Homme putting his penis in the vagina of Brody Armstrong or Dalle or whatever she thinks her name is. The lyrics can be as oblique or explicit as he wants, as long as the song/record is about penetrating Brody with his penis. Because you can't mention Josh or QOTSA without me thinking, "that guy fucked Brody Armstrong". And then the fact that Dave Grohl was in the band, and Dave Grohl is fucking rad.

Me and Megan basically just plotted out our relationship; we'll continue sleeping together until about February, when she'll be wanting to be all couple-y and shit with one of her guy friends, so she'll have to give me the talk, to the effect that she won't sleep with me any more. I'll be kind of bummed, but I'll deal. We might even continue being friends. It's cool. She thanked me for letting her use my penis for the time being, I thanked her for making me feel like someone WANTS me for once.

shoot me in the face

[23 Dec 2004|10:37pm]
[ mood | drinking ]

This shit is almost as metal as Slayer. And I found a song by a band called Thulsa Doom, apparently called, "21st Century, where can I get a fuckable little grungette?" I thought it was funny, but I don't really like the song. I bet the lyrics are funny though. And I still like that Postal Service song, because it's so blatantly sappy and dorky and they don't give a fuuuuuck.

Now, watch as I transform from cool and collected to sappily drunk.

2 bullets| shoot me in the face

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